... the start of Fall

i HATE BLOGS!! well, hate is a strong word... "dislike very much" would seem more appropriate. people have encouraged me, these last few years, to write something down, but i've been apprehensive about it because i feel that blogs are a waste of time. it's kind of like looking in someone's diary, except that person WANTS you to read it. when i look at it as an "extended" e-mail, i embrace it more. so, here i am. i've always felt that blogs were a way for people to rattle on about NOTHING, only what interests THEM, so i've shied away from the whole thing. but i guess it's better than sending out e-mails that most people won't respond to. if you don't want to read the blog,you don't have to...

i don't use capitals when i write. it's not from the operation, just pure laziness. i did this BEFORE the operation, actually.

i thought this would be better than sending out a form e-mail to everyone, although i don't have pictures. yet. pictures make it more lively, and you don't have to write as many WORDS, so i'll understand if no one wants to read this :D

i just wanted to let folks know where i am at the moment, physically and mentally...

the move from illinois to washington has been really good for me. i've never been one to just lay down and let others take care of me. i've been wanting to do things for myself, and i jumped into this new life. no one wants to start over at 40, but i forced myself to do just that.

things have gone pretty well. i met with the department of vocational rehab when i arrived. i'm just waiting to be accepted into their program. they help you find work that you can DO. that should happen in the next few weeks. i met with deseret industries. that's a church-run thrift store in seattle. working at a thrift store really isn't my bag, but they have a rehab program. that also looks good, but i have to wait to hear from the girl there. i contacted through e-mail the humanresources guy at the mental health place in bremerton where i worked four years ago. talked to him by phone last friday. he has work for me at a group home. that should pan out in the next few days. i have also been to the DSHS in bremerton twice and they will help me with food and cash assistance. but again, that should take about a week. see a pattern? i want things to happen NOW, but i have to exercise a little patience and wait. i HATE WAITING :) but things should come together in the next week or so. there are a lot of "shoulds" in there....

my original goal was to live in seattle. i think i'll have to settle for bremerton if i get a job at the old place where i worked. but it's still close to seattle...

i went to the final sounders game a week from last friday. well, their final game as a USL team. they become a major league soccer team (MLS) next year, owned in part by drew carey, of all people. so the match was a lot of fun, and they won. i went with jenni, dave, and jenni's husband bill.

and what's happening to the seahawks? argggghhhhh!! at least the baseball play-offs have been fun to watch... seattle sports are in a dismal state!

i'll go see my buddy rusty play jazz piano in tacoma on monday, which will also be the first time i meet up with my friend daidrie, who moved here from chicago in May and is a great pal.

i really haven't done a whole lot since i've been here.

my sister katie took pictures of my brother seth and i justbefore i left, so i'll sort through them and throw something up here; i know it seems so dry with no photos.

i met with my older sister beth two weeks ago, the first time i'd seen her since i was in a hospital bed with gauze wrapped around my head. that was a really good afternoon. we went to my little storage unit, filled with boxes i hadn't seen for 4 years. i pulled out a coat i sorely needed and a sweatshirt. we went to lunch and then, after getting flowers, we went to dad's grave and sang him a song. i'm sure i'll go back there, and i'm glad i went before i'd been here too long.

i think people who know me and what i've been through don't know what to expect, physically, when they haven't seen me. i look worse on paper, i guess. i really try to look and act as normally as possible, and i think i pull it off pretty well. if i don't use the cane, most strangers just think i hurt my leg. but my disability is something i think about all the time, and it affects every single thing i do. all the time. that's annoying. sometimes, i wish i would just wake up and all this would've been a bad dream. but it's not. i could've just laid down and died a long time ago, and i really do amaze myself when i think "am i really in washington now, and did i DO this?" i've tried not to think about the bad "what ifs?" or i'll drive myself crazy.

ok, so i haven't been COMPLETELY bored here. i've been able to catch up on a few movies, etc... the first 3 days i was here, i watched the first season of "lost" on DVD. then i watched the second. i'm currently in the middle of the third, and i'll tell ya, what a weird and engrossing show that is. i saw quite a few varied movies:
son of rambow (i saw it twice, funny and sweet)
letters from iwo jima (harrowing and left me drained at the end)
be kind rewind (quirky and weird)
the fall (beautiful)
across the universe (not bad, for a beatles musical)
the darjeeling limited (typical anderson fare, with all its quirks)
there will be blood (slow and grating, but superb performances from daniel day-lewis & paul dano)
p.s. i love you (insipid, tepid, torpid, and anything else ending in "id")

i think that's an american hobby, watching movies. we don't do anything in the evening, just pop in a movie.

speaking of watching that hated box, i watched the presedential debate last night. (watch me raising my eyebrow...) i know politics can be a sensitive thing in my family. most folks in my family lean to the right (republican), while i have leaned to the left (democrat) in the last few years. that doesn't entirely come from the time i lived in europe. i mean,while i was there, i was able to shape my own opinions. but i think we can't base our voting procedures on the basis of morals alone. in a perfect world, we would go that way. but it's far from a perfect world, and i think candidates from both parties are increasingly meeting in the middle or adopting policies from the "other" side. you have democrats who are against gay marriage and republicans who are pro-abortion. i think we just have to feel for ourselves where we want to vote. i just feel, AT THIS TIME, that the democrats are in a better position to pull this country out of the funk we're in. it doesn't mean I'M A DEMOCRAT,i consider myself more of "in the midle." but AT THIS TIME, again, i am leaning more towards the democrat ticket. i hope that clears up my position for anyone who feels like responding to me with guns a-blazin'. know this: i've heard the arguments for both sides, and whatever hair-pulling or epithets that are aimed my way, it won't change my mind THIS ELECTION. but, as i say, that doesn't mean my opinion won't change in the FOLLOWING election.

a person's political leanings are like their tastes in music: very personal. you start getting on someone about their music likes and you're asking for a lot of trouble :D

did i mention it's CCCCCCCOLD?!? FREEZING, at least for me. i got up at 7:30 today and it was 39 degrees. during the day it's been about 55-60. warm in most places, but not here. it wouldn't be so bad, but the people i'm staying with refuse to turn on their heat. i slept last night wearing my hooded zippy sweatshirt, and i've been bundled up on the couch with my blanket all morning. and it's not just them. i think it's everyone in this state. the sun is out, so they THINK it's warm. we picked apples and pears yesterday at a few friend's houses, and at one point i looked at the house across the street and they had their DOOR OPEN. people here go nuts when the sun is out. i mean, i lived here for a long time, and the weather here does suit me. but can we turn up the heat? :)

i hope all of you are well. and it would be great to talk to most of you soon!!

christian